What
Do ALL People Want?
This
unusually (for me) short post is prompted by a reaction to this article: “The Quickest “Hack”
To Happiness”.
The
author (not me) claims that “We all claim we want happiness”.
That
is a wrong claim.
His
advice on how to be happy is well-known and “simple” – be glad you are alive, be
thankful for what you have and what is happening, love (or at least like)
people around you (he uses words “gratitude” or “cherish”).
So,
basically, “Don’t worry, be happy”.
And
that is the right idea, in general.
I
am not going to dive in the discussion – if
being happy is so simple, why so many people are not?
The
point I want to make is that saying “we all want happiness” is saying nothing informative;
this statement is no different from “we all want drink – some time”.
However,
there is something very specific what we all – all humans – want.
Can
be described in one word.
Yes.
Just
one word – the answer to everything we want.
That
word is
(here
I overcame a very strong temptation to insert one more link) –
EXCITEMENT.
Yes,
it’s that “simple”.
We
all want to feel excitement. This feeling basically divides living from dead (maybe
just “inside”).
That is why in the moment of happiness people say: "Oh, man, I'm feeling alive!"
That is why in the moment of happiness people say: "Oh, man, I'm feeling alive!"
There
is a long list of various excitements we may feel.
There
is a long list for the sources of those excitements.
There
is an hierarchy of excitements, some we prefer to others.
An
average person (we call that person “normal”) loves experiencing excitements
from food, sex, a conversation (of a certain sort), attention, etc. (Google “human
psychology of feelings”, for example).
Every pleasurable excitement can grow up into an addiction. That is why parents need to teach children how to fight their temptations (again, not forcing children to abandon things that make them "happy", but teach them about fake happiness).
Every pleasurable excitement can grow up into an addiction. That is why parents need to teach children how to fight their temptations (again, not forcing children to abandon things that make them "happy", but teach them about fake happiness).
In any society, in any history period there are always individuals who can feel positive (pleasurable) excitement from
things which other find negative (unpleasant). Every culture has a list of
excitements considered “normal” and “abnormal”.
However,
in the spirit of American Constitution, we should consider “normal” everything
what does not purposefully hurt other people. In general, people can do to
themselves anything they want, as long as that does not put anyone else into a harmful
situation. And people should not force other people into doing something those
people do not want to do (maybe, with some cultural exceptions).
One
may say – but what if someone drink too much? We have to stop him/her from
hurting himself/herself. Well, we don’t HOVE to, but we should.
Many
excitements are chemically induced (alcohol, drugs). In time humanity
encounters more and more exciting things (TV, smartphones).
From
a generation to a generation the list of exciting things grows (and never
shrinks).
And
that list represents the means for the Darwinian
selection.
Those
humans who are not the best fit, who spend too much time on feeling excitement (from
anything – from food to computer games), tend not to procreate, they don’t leave the offspring
(at least that is the idea behind the evolution theory – which makes sense).
But
when a human does not procreate he or she breaks the genetic program built in
into everyone (everyone healthy). This disconnect leads to a feeling we call –
sadness. Too much sadness = unhappiness. Being happy simply means having
balanced things we like to do (trying to achieve an excitement from something) and
things we have to do (those which genetically built into us to achieve a sustainable
growth of the human population).
That’s
it.
Happiness
= balance.
Unhappiness
is the sign of disbalance.
Unhappy?
Try
to figure out what part of your life contradicts Darwin.
Some posts related to psychology:
What does it mean to be "smart?"
On the roots of the behavioral economics.
What is the difference between a science and a religion? Really.
Anti-Atheism; a Struggle between God and Science
“Making Sense” is not the same as “Being True”: the psychology behind “fake news”.
“Being Polite” versus “Being Nice”: social implications of both.
To everyone who has been emotionally attacked, called names, threatened, verbally degraded!
What is so special about being a Scientists?
Seven Reasons Why Rich Philanthropists Fail at Making Systemic Changes in Education
Social Arithmetic is amazingly trivial!
Some posts related to psychology:
What does it mean to be "smart?"
On the roots of the behavioral economics.
What is the difference between a science and a religion? Really.
Anti-Atheism; a Struggle between God and Science
“Making Sense” is not the same as “Being True”: the psychology behind “fake news”.
“Being Polite” versus “Being Nice”: social implications of both.
To everyone who has been emotionally attacked, called names, threatened, verbally degraded!
What is so special about being a Scientists?
Seven Reasons Why Rich Philanthropists Fail at Making Systemic Changes in Education
Social Arithmetic is amazingly trivial!
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